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Journal of Charles William Reeve
Day??, Month??, 2007

New Breencast today.

We call 'em Collie-Prop.

It's not always the Estimable Dr. Breen that talks. Sometimes he has his assorted lackeys from the other cities do the talking.

In City 9 the Combine stooge calls himself Commissar Phelps. The titles vary from city to city, mostly based on the conceit of the appointed leader. Some of them try to bribe citizens into surrendering, others threaten, some cajole, some try to mislead. Commissar Phelps pretends that city 9 is a realization of a true communist state, where none are ever in need.

A sample of his drivel:

"All will be provided by the State. None will be hungry, or thirsty, or without shelter or clothing. Can the Resistance promise you that? Can the Resistance ensure that you will not sleep in your own filth? Some view the Combine with antagonism because they defended themselves against those hostile to them. I see them as an opportunity. A way of becoming part of something greater, a way of joining and working together to create a better life."

And he goes on like that. For a looong time.

He tries to equate the Combine's brainwashing with unity. Slavery is Freedom. They remove all those difficult things like choice and conscience.

I wish I knew what the Combine want. It's clear they aim to either absorb or enslave humanity. It's clear they are altering the face of our planet. But what do either of those things together lead to? What are they aiming to accomplish?

Sometimes it's not the day-to-day terror that frightens me. It's that unknown goal.

Man used to ask, "Why are we here?" Now we ask, "Why are THEY here?"

I keep forgetting about how life was before the Combine.

I used to think that maybe it was just stress or overstimulation but now I think something else is going on. I've heard about the Combine adding things to the air and water, and how they suppress the reproductive urge somehow (high-frequency manipulation?) - so I'm pretty certain that they're doing something to make us forget.

I can't remember my own father's name. He died ten years ago, but I can't remember his name, dammit.

I'm going to suggest to Muhammed that we start a library. Any books we can get, especially history books, but even magazines and newspapers, that sort of thing, and we'll set aside a safe place for them. Maybe we can find some old fire safes or even a vault somewhere. New Sanctuary might have an abandoned bank with a vault. So far they haven't been attacked.

Command and Control could send a message to the Posts to collect any literature and store it somewhere safe until it could be retrieved.

Muhammed suggested I join the Resistance again.

I told him I couldn't become the Resistance's pawn for the same reasons that I wouldn't allow myself to become the Combine's pawn. A prison cell is still a prison cell even if you make it yourself and shut the door yourself. He said he understands but wishes I would reconsider.

Every day I get closer and closer to reconsidering.

I think I know what the answer will eventually be.

Posted at 22:02

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